An Open Letter to a Facebook Friend

Disclaimer: If you think you recognize yourself in some or all of this post, please understand that it is not directed at any one specific individual Facebook friend. Rather it a composite of a lot of the behaviors of a surprisingly large number of my Facebook friends, which I find deeply troubling.- FS

Dear Facebook Friend,

What has happened to you? Although it has been years since we spent any real time together in person, I have followed your life events and learned your opinions on many topics through the magic of social networking. I remember you as always being opinionated, and sometimes strongly so, but you always stayed a respectful conversationalist and someone who didn’t take himself too seriously. Because of this, all of our interactions featured your easy style of humor.

Over the last several years I have been alarmed by the drastic if gradual changes in your tone of voice, not to mention your opinions themselves. You now frequently speak of yourself in the third person. Your posts never begin with “I think …” or “In my opinion …”; rather, everything you say is presented as incontrovertible fact, giving no quarter to, or even admitting the existence of, the opinions of others. In fact, when differences of opinions are acknowledged, they are dismissed as being “stupid,” or the other person is characterized as a “dumbass.”  My friend, these are the classic symptoms of narcissism. Look it up.

You consistently claim to be a staunch defender and admirer of strong women, but under your posts’ attempts at humor lurks the unmistakable odor of cynicism and more than a little sexism, conscious or unconscious. Your avowed hero is a self-confessed sexual predator who has called women the most crude and degrading names. You disproportionately target women in general and women of color in particular for your critical political posts. These are a few of the classic traits of the misogynist. Look it up.

You have chosen to follow your avowed political party down a dark road, blindly supporting a corrupt and fundamentally dishonest leader. Why is this? In my opinion, many of the president’s supporters are longing for simplicity in all things, and embrace a shallow, reassuring worldview. You are a climate change denier. You are fiercely anti-immigrant. You see conspiracies everywhere, no matter how thoroughly they are debunked. From where I sit, it looks like deep inside yourself you realize that you do not possess the intellectual horsepower to deal with the complexities of the real world, which accounts for the shallowness of your reasoning and your parroting of conservative media tropes. You have failed consistently in most if not all of both your professional and personal relationships, and looking at your posts over the years it is painfully obvious what emotion has come to dominate you: hate.

All of this makes me deeply sad, since the friend I remember exhibited none of the above traits. But the saddest thing for me is the perverted, intensely hypocritical nature of your claims regarding religion. The majority of your nasty, hateful posts are directly contradictory to the teachings of Jesus Christ, particularly your posts on immigration, welfare, and minorities. The hypocrisy here is so glaringly obvious that it’s hard to believe that your friends (and likely even you if you are at all self-aware) don’t see the creeping cynicism, racism, sexism, and hate that permeates your posts. I can only hope that your God will find a way to open your eyes to these truths, even as your posts become pettier and more misanthropic.

Look it up.

Your friend,

Frank

Portland, OR

March 4, 2020

War and Sin

In the whirlwind of lies, outrages, and catastrophes that make up our out-of-control news cycle, it is no surprise that some of the most important and significant stories get lost or buried. One such story is that of Navy Seal Eddie Gallagher. His actions were so blatantly criminal and murderous that his own men reported him to his superiors. He was accused of the cold-blooded knife murder of a sedated teenage Iraqi prisoner, among numerous other offenses, including a string of indiscriminate killings of unarmed civilians.

He was court martialed and eventually – and quite suspiciously – acquitted on all but one change, that of posing for a picture with the teenager’s corpse, a charge that he could hardly be cleared of because, well, the photo itself. A horrible story indeed, but one made infinitely worse by the subsequent actions of our erstwhile Commander in Chief, who has made a mockery of both our military justice system and our long-held belief that we are above the barbarism of many of our enemies. In pardoning Chief Gallagher and restoring him to his former rank for retirement, as well as unilaterally ruling that he can keep the cherished and symbolic Seal Trident Pin, Trump has announced to friend and foe alike that we are not bound by any sense of honor or justice.

The New York Times has reported extensively on this, including acquiring the videotaped testimonies of six other Seal team members, in which several of them break down in tears. It bears mentioning that these are not some snowflakes; they are the most highly trained and deadly fighters in the world.

Now Chief Gallagher, instead of being demoted and disgraced, has become a right-wing talking head, starting a “lifestyle” brand of Seal-themed clothing and partying with Trump and friends at his Mar-a-Lago resort. He is frequently mentioned by the president at his rallies, praising him as “one of the ultimate fighters.”

My late father, Major Francis Sadowski (USAF, Ret.), who fought three wars for our country, told me years ago that there is such a thing as a just war. He said: “Fighting and killing in a just war is no sin, but there are countless opportunities for heinous sins in any war, even a just one.” When my father fought in WW2, he was a navigator/bombardier on multiple bombing missions over Germany, and certainly killed many people. He was involved when the bombing was restricted to German industrial and military targets, and was home with a Purple Heart after being shot on a mission when the strategy changed to fire-bombing German cities to "break the will" of the German people, questionable morally at best.

Lionizing the heinous wartime actions of Chief Gallagher is not only a new low for our leader, but represents a seismic change in the morality of our faltering constitutional republic. And it is a sin.


January 7, 2020
Portland, OR

Guest Blogger on the Women's World Cup: Shaun Mullen

A sad update: My virtual good friend and literary colleague Shaun Mullin passed away from natural causes at his Stroudsburg, PA, home on December 12, 2019.

Shaun Mullen was born to blog. It just took a few years for the medium to catch up to the messenger. Over a long career with newspapers, this award-winning editor and reporter covered the Vietnam War, O.J. Simpson trials, Clinton impeachment circus and coming of Osama bin Laden, among many other big stories. Mullen was a five-time Pulitzer Prize nominee and has covered 12 presidential campaigns.

I was cyber-introduced to Shaun a few years back by a mutual friend after I read his terrific book,There's A House In The Land: A Tale of the 1970s, which centered around a band that we knew and played with back then. Our own band was also mentioned in one episode within the book. Shaun wrote a fantastic review of my own book, Back To Life: A Bladder Cancer Journey, and we have corresponded sporadically ever since.

I was in the process of composing a blog post about the patriotism of the US Women's Soccer Team when I read Shaun's post on the same topic this morning on his blog, Kiko's House. He nailed it, as usual, and he has agreed to let me share his post as a guest blogger on Frank-Incensed. Enjoy!

Don't Look To D.C, The Women's World Cup Team Is Real Patriotism On Display

We are not exactly sports fanatics, my love and I.  While I nominally follow the Philadelphia Phillies, at least when they're winning, we don't even have cable TV, so we bypass the 24/7 torrent of the sports industrial complex in a sort of insular bliss at the mountain retreat if you don't count the nightmare than Donald Trump has visited upon us.  But we are joyfully following the U.S. national women's team in the World Cup because it allows us to feel good about America in a time of migrant concentration camps, love feasts with ruthless authoritarian leaders and a new definition of Taking Our Daughters To Work Day. 

This is one absolutely fearless team.  The atleticism is breathtaking.  And the beer is really cold at the neighborhood tappy where we watched the matches against France and England, the latter to be long memorable for forward Alex Morgan's delightful troll of the entire English nation with her tea sipping gesture, pinkie properly raised, after scoring the go-ahead goal.   

That's what we fought the Revolutionary War for, right?   

Wrong.  We fought the Revolutionary War so a criminal thug can appropriate -- no, make that hijack and militarize -- the peoples' Independence Day celebration in Washington and beat his chest on the steps of the previously hallowed Lincoln Memorial for the enjoyment of Republican fat cat donors and other hand-picked VIPs.  And so he can emulate Vladimir Putin, who probably gets nice erections when he sees tanks in Red Square on national holidays. 

Incidentally, we're paying for our homegrown authoritarian's holiday party cum campaign event with millions of dollars diverted from a fund to fix up national parks, but then I'm sure that you got an invitation.   

No invitation?  That's strange.  

It's easy to see why Trump is so mightily pissed off with women's team's co-captain Megan Rapinoe, who has unashamedly dissed the president by saying that she would not be "going to the fucking White House" should the U.S. win its fourth World Cup on Sunday.   

Trump has returned the compliment by implying Rapinoe is a loser although stopping short of saying that the purple-haired winger is "not my type," his go-to rejoinder to Jean Carroll, the latest woman to accuse him of sexual misconduct. 

"I think I stand for honesty and for truth and for wanting to have the conversation," Rapinoe told reporters on Wednesday. "Looking at the country honestly and saying, 'Yes, we are a great country and there are many things that are so amazing and I feel very fortunate to be in this country.'  I would never be able to do this in a lot of other places. But that doesn’t mean we can't get better.  It doesn't mean we shouldn’t always thrive to be better."  

Down deep, if Trump has a deep, what really wounds him about Rapinoe is that she has worked very hard to become a premier athlete while he has stolen, abused, insulted and assaulted to get where he is.  Now Trump may be too much of a sociopathic narcissist to ever understand that.  Or despite his fake billions, why he will never have that most precious of commodities -- respect. 

For us, the women's team is a timely reminder of the American ethos amidst Trump's manifold grotesqueries: The promise of equality, the spirit of reform that yielded Title IX and laid the groundwork for American female soccer supremacy, a close-knit community of different backgrounds and sexual orientations, including lesbian and social activist Rapinoe, who has earned the title of national hero. 

So for an all-too-brief moment, my love and I are putting aside our shame and letting loose with a"USA, USA" or three.  You ought to try it.  Feels really good.

By Sean Mullen (used by permission of the author)

Portland, OR
July 3rd, 2019

Eine Nachricht von dem deutschen Volke

The Fire Down Below

Many friends have commented publicly and privately on my blog post of last week reflecting on Bob Seger and his Silver Bullet Band, and the interesting similarities between Seger and Bruce Springsteen (Was Bob Seger the Original Boss?) This engendered in yours truly an earworm of colossal proportion that has lasted the better part of a week. The song? My all-time favorite Seger tune, “The Fire Down Below,” a song so Springsteen-esque in its roll call of disparate American characters that it even includes a Rosie!

"The Fire Down Below"

Words and music by Bob Seger

Here comes old Rosie she's looking mighty fine
Here comes hot Nancy she's steppin' right on time
There go the street lights bringin on the night
Here come the men faces hidden from the light
All through the shadows they come and they go
With only one thing in common
They got the fire down below

Here comes the rich man in his big long limousine
Here comes the poor man all you got to have is green
Here comes the banker and the lawyer and the cop
One thing for certain it ain't never gonna stop
When it all gets too heavy
That's when they come and go
With only one thing in common
They got the fire down below

It happens out in Vegas happens in Moline
On the blue blood streets of Boston
Up in Berkeley and out in Queens
And it went on yesterday and it's going on tonight
Somewhere there's somebody ain't treatin' somebody right

And he's looking out for Rosie and she's looking mighty fine
And he's walking the streets for Nancy
And he'll find her everytime
When the street light flicker bringing on the night
Well they'll be slipping into darkness slipping out of sight
All through the midnight
Watch 'em come and watch 'em go
With only one thing in common
They got the fire down below

Portland, Oregon

February 9, 2019

Was Bob Seger the original Boss?

We went to see Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band last night at the Moda Center here in Portland. We had seen the band on their last tour here a few years back and loved the show. He scheduled what was to be his last tour in 2017, but completed only 13 dates out of 32 scheduled, due to a ruptured disc that required major surgery. Most thought that he would retire at that point, but he announced last year that he would make up the dates he canceled and add more. He also said it would definitely be his last tour.

It was a great show, if a little less tight and balanced than when we last saw him. He said he would play some obscure songs, and that he did, which was fun but inevitably led to the omission of some of his many crowd favorites. The high points of the two-hour show were very high indeed and intensely emotional, and the band was professional and high-energy throughout.

About halfway through the concert, it occurred to me how similar Seger is to Springsteen, and in so many ways that I had never considered. Sure there are lots of differences, and Springsteen is a musical generation removed from Seger, who had his first national hit and album in 1968. But consider the almost eerie similarities; after following them both for decades, I never have.

First, from day one of their careers, the band has belonged to them, and not just by carrying their name. They wrote all of their respective songs, were in charge of not only the musical but also all of the business decisions. 

And there’s so much more. From a musical standpoint, they both put together bands heavily reliant on keyboards in an era when guitar was king. Both prominently featured both piano and organ on their albums and in their live performances. Strikingly, unlike almost every other band back then, both had a feature saxophonist nearly all the way back to the genesis of their careers. More subtly, neither has been hesitant to add additional players and instruments, and to feature acoustic instruments in the live environment. I have seen both bands numerous times, both in their earlier incarnations as well as in their current iterations, and last night I was struck by how visually similar they are today on stage. Both feature back up singers and horn sections on risers to the sides. Both have two full-time keyboard players and dynamic and varied rock and roll percussion that goes beyond an energetic drummer, and both have the eponymous front man who is as much a musical director on stage as he is a mere lead singer. 

Lastly, both write songs that are uniquely American and incredibly heartfelt and truly meaningful. Think of “My Hometown” and “Turn the Page,” two songs that couldn’t be more different in musical structure or subject matter, and yet mine the deep emotion and longing of quintessential American personal experience.

The last great similarity is the love the audiences show these two artists when they play live with their bands. There is plenty of fan-love to be seen at concerts, but the love I feel at a Stones or a U2 concert is a kind of hero-worship or “aspirational love” if you will. With Seger and Springsteen it is intense and personal, and make no mistake, it is love.

Maybe Bob was really the original Boss …

Portland, Oregon
February 3, 2019

A Tale of Two Summits ... or, "Every Picture Tells a Story, Don't It?"

The responses to the two summit meetings involving our erstwhile President have been legion, both on the news channels and feeds and on social media. I made a Facebook post entitled “Every Picture Tells a Story, Don’t It?” a nod to a famous Rod Stewart line, without further comment. Although this steps a bit close to my self-proclaimed FB boundary of commenting on neither politics nor religion, I thought the title to be essentially non-partisan.

Well, was I in for an awakening!

Of all the Orwellian events and quotes of the last week, nothing struck me harder or made me sadder that the radically different interpretations on both the photo that I posted and the press coverage of the North Korea summit by both the supporters and opponents of our fearless leader. Actually, “Orwellian” likely does a disservice to old George. We know that 1984 has come and gone when we read the post-Orwellian quotes and tweets from Mr. Trump. Who could have possibly imagined in their most intense fever dream that the president of the Untied States would call the leader of our closest ally, with whom he had previously gotten along bromantically, “very dishonest and weak,” and then two days later praise Mr. Kim, an international criminal and cold-blooded murderer that Trump has previously directly threatened with nuclear annihilation, by calling him “very smart,” “a very talented man,” and “a very good negotiator?” And the one that would be hilarious if it wasn’t so frightening: “I trust him. I really do.” At one point he even said M. Kim could be “very funny.” You can’t make this stuff up. A quick look at Mr. Kim’s record of brutality towards his own people will not conjure the word “funny” for many people.

But this frankly unbelievable behavior has been dissected and analyzed by far more talented pundits than I. The absolutely shocking treatment of our G7 partners and the even more unbelievable praise for Mr. Kim has been and will be denounced by all but the Fox news nutjobs. What makes me crazy and dispirited at the same time is how people on both sides of American “politics” have interpreted the events of both summits. The picture of German chancellor Angela Merkel leaning on a table and staring down at a seated and arms-crossed Trump was seen by almost everyone I know as one strong leader (Merkel) making a point directly aimed at another leader who looked petulant and even childish. There were literally thousands of comments on social media, initially almost all in that vein, but a backlash started almost immediately by the right wing trolls. A comment from my Facebook post is pretty typical:

She looks like she is begging for his understanding which he is refusing. Thats what leaders of the free world do, stand up a crowd mentality.

Will you continue to accept all of this? If so, you are essentially complicit with the spineless sheep known as the republican congress. And to those who blindly support Mr. Trump: Exactly how far does our leader have to go before you realize that he is an unhinged would-be dictator who cares not a whit about our beloved constitutional democracy? Canceled elections? Maybe nuclear war?

My friend Roger Campana put it very eloquently in response to the above comment, talking about leadership:

Your definition of leadership leaves a lot to be desired. Leaders get results, not call people names, make personnel attacks, and stomp off before the job is done. They put their feelings aside and concentrate on the mission. History shows that isolationism and trade tariffs/wars don't work. Leaders do their homework and create a call to action; because the "only thing you get in a pissing contest is wet."

(Quote used by permission.)

Portland, OR

June 13, 2018